"Don't change a winning team" should be an axiom people take heed of.

When dealing with girls, you will notice they have different personalities; the same can be said about guys.

Both genders share common traits, even though they may have different personalities. Generalised dating advice is good, but it has limitations. However, it is on the margins where people will make the biggest headway.

The problem is that many dating coaches use cookie-cutter approaches to copy and paste what worked for them onto others. It answers many market participants' needs, as they want the silver bullet formula that will grant them the key to the highest number of good-looking women. Nevertheless, it ignores that some of the prescriptions will go against their clients' personalities.

You may get short-term results, but you will remain the same guy, misattributing the outcomes and thinking you are a better guy for it when it is just short-term manipulation, when you just disguised your insecurity to the girl and yourself. Unfortunately, she will notice you are a con quicker than you are.

If you are naturally extroverted, offering a stoic approach will feel unnatural; conversely, preaching high energy to someone introverted will feel incongruent to that person. There are many different ways to skin a cat; however, over the long run, if someone wants to find someone serious over short-term flings, he will have to work under a system, which he will amend according to his proclivities, that is suited for him.

The idea that there is one single solution is a marketing ploy often used to appeal to market participants looking for quick results, but it is misguided; they answer to demand, but they don't address the core issue, which is the insecurity of the individual when it is not overthinking because he does not feel enough.

You have direct and indirect game, which both yield results. It is about understanding who your client is on a one-to-one basis and not trying to fit your game philosophy onto him because it may not fit with him and where he is coming from. For example, someone who is economical with his words is not the perfect client for the indirect game because that framework isn't aligned with who he is by nature.

Can he change? Yes, but will the outcomes align depending on the results he wants and the extent of his efforts? Will he not deny what he truly vibes with?

Eventually, it is about developing and getting acquainted with his own frame.

A girl who is into you will give you the benefit of the doubt, and that is how you know she is.

In football (US: Soccer), coaches take different forms. You have a guy like Luis Enrique, who will try to fit the personnel to match his football philosophy or system, and you have a guy like Carlo Ancelotti, who will adapt the system to the personnel he has on deck. The former can do very well with stars and a big chequebook, but his skills are not that good, as he is essentially a one-trick pony. He does not have the versatility required to adapt his approach to various players he has not assembled. The same can be said about the development of the players. Clubs like Liverpool are shaping the future stars they sell at a profit because they understand a lot of clubs and coaches are unidimensional; they eventually buy cheap and get some of the best players' peak performance before selling them around their wall years, by deploying the core strengths, they saw in the player, and hire coach with that philosophy.

Eventually, coaches like Carlo Ancelotti get the best results because they respect the position under which the players perform the best, rather than trying to fit a round peg in a square hole. This eventually curtails the player's creativity and potential because he will be constrained by a system at a position that he often won't be able to convert properly.

Once you have reached a certain level, you realise that you don't have to follow most dating rules because your overall demeanour, mindset, and communication align well with your persona. The tricks and tactics one may have used in the past are then seen as cheap parlour moves, as one only tried to display congruency in an incongruent state. You appreciate that you can please everyone, and when you do, there is much stronger stickiness, which is necessary if you want something long-term. It makes the most sense to have a higher strike rate if you are looking for something short-term, not rocking any boats to get to the fun outcome. Eventually, both will work against one another on a long enough timeline. However, owning yourself will also attract short-term, but with a lower strike rate than the Chameleon approach.

So, changing oneself, when you have good results by buying into the "let's create a problem in a man's mind, to sell him better a solution" which the dating market is very guilty of, can foster a situation where someone who was doing very well, because he was confident, non-needy and acting in congruence can go against mainstream dating advice. It is the stage when you make your own rules because your frame is so solid that you don't start to double-guess yourself when you receive bad feedback from a girl. People began to change themselves because a girl or a set of girls who would never be interested in them did not appreciate them, missing the forest for the trees.

In Sales, I encountered different successful personas. The autistic guy outperformed by never accepting NOs, sometimes creating ridiculous situations. However, he eventually closed the people who thought energetic Jack the Lad, Essex Chap, was a snake oil Salesman. Or it could be the soft-spoken British lad who would sleepwalk a prospect into signing an order form when it was not the Posh Enterprise Sales Rep.

This is to say that these people had their own sales methodology in line with their personality. They would succeed regardless of what they did differently from the others. A prospect may have signed with the soft-spoken lad he trusted more because he did not interpret his high energy as a scam vibe. Another prospect would only sign with the Essex Chap, who would equate his over-the-top personality with confidence.

However, they all had something in common: they never doubted themselves and doubled down on their personality. You can't be a good salesman if you doubt yourself or your product.

It is about communication and leadership. They did this, but in their own ways.

It is the same when it comes to dating; it is not because a dating coach has this failproof method that worked for him that it will work for everyone, because not everyone is like him.

Ideally, a dating coach wants his clients to develop their own system so they no longer need him.

Once the client gains the confidence from within to own his true self, he should feel psychologically at peace with who he is and learn to optimise his communication to get the results he does not need assistance anymore.

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