If you have been dating in the 2010s and even more so in the 2020s, what is starting to become evident is that:

To attract women, you must display behaviour that meets their hypergamic needs.

These behaviours include:

=> Not caring about her

=> Spinning plates to display non-attachment

=> Disengagement to evidence outcome independence

=> Be aloof post-sex to show she has not won you over, and to invite her to invest

These can be manufactured, or they can be, because you actually don’t care about her.

From the woman’s perspective, she wants to ensure she is with the right guy. Still, at the same time, it fosters dissatisfaction in the man, who feels they have to act a certain way against their logical tendency to problem-solve and achieve the goals they set for themselves.

The latter will turn her off completely.

When he does not, he wants nothing to do with her, which only attracts her more.

So it is a merry-go-round of chase to be pumped and dumped for the women, or a chase to be discarded for the guy.

This is not to discount the mirroring of female dating strategies to that of guys, taking away all of what made them feminine to begin with:

=> Dating non-exclusively

=> Women harvesting orbiters’ attention, at the very least.

=> Masculine behaviour to filter the wheat from the chaff

=> Non-relationship constructive behaviour by entertaining different Friends With Benefits when it is not dicks roster.

=> Emotionally detached thanks to the commoditisation of men through Online Dating and social media.

Long story short, having enabled women to act upon their hypergamy has created the cesspool, which is what dating in 2025 has become, giving them agency, whilst they operate in the workplace, turning them masculine, much more than the average man is responsible for.

Where a lack of transparency, opposing agendas, and trickery to achieve the desired outcome have led to an overall unsatisfactory outcome, both genders complain about.

Suppose you, as a guy, want to have something serious. In that case, you will come across as dull to the woman, not so much in the goal itself, but through the means you use to reach that goal, which will eventually turn her off, as she has had previous experiences that will contrast with you in a negative light, but led to the disastrous hypergamic fuelled outcomes. More importantly, even if she were to change her ways to look for something serious, she would look at the guy as a cheap version of what she previously experienced. It is a loss on both ends.

If you are a woman, you are tired of investing in guys you are attracted to but who won’t commit, and you either don’t want to settle or, if you do, it is knowing full well that you have thrown in the towel. You will try to gaslight yourself into thinking that being healthy is the way, when really it doesn’t resonate with you; you don’t feel the same way you did before, when you let the rawness of your feelings take shape and respond to genuine attraction. But as you need to settle, you must convince yourself otherwise. This generally happens when you have reached a level of frustration with your outcomes where you want a comforting, nice guy who will make you feel safe and action your reproductive agenda, whilst rationalising that he is the best guy you have been with.

“He is my best friend”.

Both sexes end up being frustrated that they are not getting the best part of the deal and remain content with short-term mating and situationships because it is as good as it gets.

And even in the rare case where you both find yourself, the behaviours preceding the relationship were embroiled in a non-trusting dynamic fostered by the dating landscape:

=> Interchangeability of women/men

=> Distrust of the opposite gender due to previous bad experiences.

=> Self-destructive hypergamic behaviour that will recur, fostered by memories.

=> Programmed masculine behaviour in women, which will create dissensions with their man, and programmed female placating behaviour in men, which will turn off women.

To be eventually disappointed that the imagery you sought at the onset of the relationship eventually fades away, and one of you decides to cut it short to see if you will, in the end, find the chimaera, we call love.

This is what happens when both sexes initially prioritise wants over needs.