He had a top 2-3% physique as a 20-year-old.

Confident in himself, nice guy, and he would stand up for himself or his friends when push came to shove.

Good-looking young man, but he lost his hair early as a white guy, so he decided to go bald.

His head shape was not bad. But he always carried an insecurity about it, no matter what I would say to him.

In his reality, he could not be attractive as a baldie.

He had the physique of Vin Diesel, and face-wise looked like a young Andre Agassi.

Despite his muscular physique, he was a softie, very thoughtful and caring, and that is why we got along well.

He thought I was a bitter misogynistic guy, though, whereas he was one of these guys who social circled himself in some friendship with girls and eventually had a relationship with one.

He then became obsessed with the gym and nutrition. Very inspirational in terms of grit and commitment, because he developed great discipline, much more than I ever would.

He eventually became the prototype of the Gym Bro who only talks about food/gym. It became his identity.

It is great to be on purpose, but it eventually appeared to me that it was only another way to suppress his insecurity when it came to his hair, as well as his anxiety and shyness.

I later dated a few Gym Bunnies and one cross-fitter as a non-Gym Bro from my short memory.

One of the things they told me about dating Gym Bros went along these lines.

“You would think that it would be a match made in heaven, but so many similarities were eventually underwhelming, when it was not our respective timetables which made it hard to spend time together. There was no mystery nor discovery; it felt like a routine from the start.”

When it came to non-gym girls who dated Gym Bros.

“They would be talking about gym and nutrition all the time, they would be boring as fuck eventually. No personality”.

I have lost touch with him. I hope he is doing well. Hopefully, he got his hair back, as he was planning for the Turkey Treatment or maybe came to terms with his hair loss, and he became a little more interested in matters outside of weights and macros.

Lessons:

By all means, pursue physical excellence, whether for your health, aesthetics, or both. Just remember, you are more than just what you do.

The obsession that leads to exceptional results can also consume you from within and make you one-dimensional as a person when interacting with others.

This is not to say you have to lower yourself to the people around you who are not chasing excellence. Still, they will show you where you are lacking, and doubling down on your activity, which usually starts as a distraction you become passionate about, or as an insecurity that you felt the need to address, it will remain one even when you reach your goal or come close to it.

Whether it is your hair, your body, or your height, true contentment with oneself comes from the mind.

Accept yourself, not to legitimise where you are in life, but accept yourself as someone who values himself outside of the external and superficial metrics the market values.

People will initially be drawn to you on the surface, but you won’t be memorable because you lack depth. You fell into the trap of maximising your marketing but forgot about the content on display. It extends beyond muscle, money, status, or whatever you consider most important.

There are many gym bros, rich guys, or even men with status. Still, there is only one you, so learn to discover and appreciate yourself as an individual, and you will be able to stand out in ways that people will remember you beyond your appearance.