Went on a date with this woman last week, great fun, banter, sexualisation all good, I could tell she really liked me and eventually was giving me "we should not have sex tonight", whilst we were in the car.

"I know, you are right, we should not have sex." I was genuinely being sincere, not employing some reverse psychology trick. The fact that she said the above turned me off immediately, so I thought I would reply with some sarcasm but without the tone.

I wasn't planning on reaching out to her again, but she was really insistent via text and eventually called me the next day. So out of boredom and an ego trip, I decided to entertain her and see what I could get out of her.

A few days of texting, and she's opening up on how she likes me, and how special I am (😪), she can't wait to see me again.

Then she called me tonight. She goes on about how horny she is, and she wants me to shag her (by that time, I had already lost interest, as it could have happened naturally on the first date, but I did not want to entertain the BS).

I tested that, and then she sent me some nudes. Goes on about how much she likes me, but she is afraid I have the potential to hurt her (🙄).

Then she brings the idea of being non-exclusive fuck buddies after saying that she apparently stopped talking to the other 2 guys she was entertaining (not buying that, but pretended I did). 😑 Make that make sense...

"So you are expecting me to take you seriously whilst you're entertaining other guys?"

"But I am not seeing anyone."

"It is not the fact you do, it is the intention of keeping the option to do it"

"But I really like you, I don't want to risk it with you."

"Keeping your options open only negates the only real one you have."

"So you are telling me you won't want to be my fuck buddy."

"To be perfectly honest, I don't wanna fuck a girl who is fucking other guys."

"I am actually shocked, I dunno any guys who would turn down the opportunity."

"So why are you bringing this stupid idea to the table? You are really making your best effort to fuck it up."

"So you won't take me seriously if we go that route."

"No"

"Ok, so it is all or nothing with you."

"Always"

"Fine, we won't do that then."

In the meantime, she is already pre-setting the fact that we are going to have sex on the second date (so contrived and unnatural, makes me less wanna fuck her).

The conversation goes to the second date.

"Where are you taking me for dinner?"

"Do you always invite yourself for dinner?"

"Well, you have not invited me for dinner?”

"Should I?"

"Isn't what a gentleman would do?"

"You are knocking at the wrong door."

"So you are not one."

"I am one, but I don't wanna invite you for dinner"

"Why that?"

"You are worth more than being some cheap escort that I have to buy dinner for sex."

"So you just wanna fuck me."

"It is in the balance."

"So what do you want?"

"Spend time with you, but I won't pay you for dinner."

"Are you that cheap?"

"I hate the transactional nature being so apparent in dating, not to mention the sex project management you are running. I don't mind paying for dinner, but then I won't fuck you."

"This is nonsense. Why would you not want to fuck?"

"I am no John."

"So, a guy inviting me for dinner before having sex with me makes me a prostitute?"

"Pretty much yeah."

(She laughs)

"What is wrong with you? Why are you making is this so hard? You have not been trying to woo me since our first date?"

"Do all the guys take you for dinner before you fuck them?”

"Not all, but I expect that I deserve it."

"Feels great, doesn't it, when the plan you have set up for your perfect dating model goes to shit, because there is someone else involved in the equation, eh."

"This is so dumb of you to screw this up this way. I literally tell you how much I like you and open up to you, and you throw it all away".

"I also like to have my way, but it is cool."

LESSON:

Although it was not my original intention, as I would have discarded her and not follow up after the first date, because she showed she was keen but artificially blocked everything out of her neuroticism and control freakdom, I gradually decided to play around with her and make her believe I was going to play her own game.

She felt comfortable, so she decided to reveal herself more (tit 4 tat on her manipulation to get me to do her bidding), while responding positively to the positive things she said about me.

I made sure to give the impression I had standards, and I was the relationship type of guy who brought her expectations higher through turning down her sex offering, which led her to bring up the meet-up.

(Sometimes girls will front a sex offering as bait).

To eventually pull the rug, because I got all of what I wanted from her (ego validation) and piss her off (cherry on the cake).

I now take more pleasure in not giving them the D they took for granted by gambling on it than jumping at the first opportunity to get the kitty cat.

If you want something with someone, don’t make it harder on yourself; let things flow naturally, not how you want them to be, but as they are.

I don’t count the number of women who played themselves with me playing that game, that I either ghosted, pumped and dumped or mind fucked like the one above. This is to show that if you are trying to overgame or micromanage people or dynamics, you are leaving yourself open to someone doing the same thing to you, as people are often more petty than you would prefer to believe.

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