It is nice to feel female energy when she is staying over at yours.

Or even when you are dealing with them on a short-term basis, as you re-ignite your inner child.

But as you get older, you become more serious, “boring” and regimented.

You also become surer of yourself.

Inviting someone into your life who will regularly test you will eventually become tiring and drain your energy from more productive endeavours.

Putting her back in her place, which was exciting in the beginning, with some make-up sex afterwards, will turn into a chore because there is so much bandwidth one can have.

You also know yourself better and have filtered out the people in your life who did not gel with you.

But we hear people say “hold masculine frame”, “it is female nature”.

Okay, so you are making yourself a variable in her response; that is monkey dancing, mate.

In her raw nature, she will be a brat, which will be a source of drama. You have two choices:

Either you decide that, in the short term, it is manageable, like dealing with your nieces and nephews.

Or you enter a long-term association, where you can either link up with a more tamed version of her, which is not as painful, or the unpasteurised version, which will create a lot of unnecessary noise.

There is this notion in (some part?) the Red Pill, that it is your burden to deal with the nonsense, and in the end, your masculinity is defined by how submissive she is to you, as per the behaviour you display.

Not realising that making men a function of female approval (whether it is the conscious – blue pilled - or the unconscious one – red pill) weakens the position of men as an entity of their own. Once you make it a dependent variable of women, you make yourself tributary to them. This is not agency; this is the longhouse, creating the illusion that you have discretionary power when you are operating in her sandbox to maintain the peace.

When you always settle for peace, you submit to war.

In the same way, women can groom you using sex as a token of appreciation, as she knows you validate your masculinity through it, she will control you. Still, here, you believe you have your agency because you feel you are the one in charge, when in fact, you are merely a puppet to achieve the same outcome.

This is you adopting behaviours that women will reward, and make a joke of what Frame is, as you make it co-dependent on the success it has with your girlfriend or wife.

Frame, by nature, implies conflict; otherwise, it is lowkey and placating to female nature.

This would make you the enforcing agent of the feminine imperative, using the idea of masculinity as a wrapper, self-owning yourself in the process. When you give women the power to define, you give them also the power to emasculate you.

The real test of your masculinity is how much she follows the rules you set for her. Not your ability to pass shit-tests, and other behaviours that look to appease women to get yourself the pat on the back with reward mechanisms at the end, whether it is marketed as red or blue pill.

So, you have to look at her actions, rather than creating narrative loops to justify why she behaves the way she does.

Actual Frame comes from genuine outcome independence, not caring whether she “rewards” you or “punishes” you. Otherwise, you are a performative in her Frame, no matter how hard you try to gaslight yourself.

It is a woman’s burden to get you into a relationship, and to keep herself in one with you.

The moment this focus starts shifting, you will care more about the outcome of staying with her than she does about you, and whatever you do will be tainted by this energy in your actions.

What people often overlook is that they believe the action alone is what matters. It is actually where it is coming from.

Women will feel when you are looking to appease them, rather than whether you are not giving a fuck, because there is a higher purpose to your life than staying with her. By focusing on yourself first, you are telling her that your mission is more important than her, and she can be a passenger if she knows how to behave.

Being intolerant will save you from a lot of the nonsense. When you focus too much on the why, it is because you are avoiding the what is. This is why “female nature” is cope for you to validate how much you are going to pull your pants down to keep yourself in a relationship.

Now that I give you the mental rationale on how you need to think, these are the natural actions that follow when dealing with BS:

=> Her giving you the cold shoulder because you frustrated her => you ignore her, you don’t deal with shit energy.

=> Her nagging and complaining because you said no => you ignore her, you don’t deal with shit energy.

=> The shit-tests to make sure her hypergamy is fulfilled => you invite her to find some other fucker who will take her shit.

=> Other games she plays to see if you will still be able to walk away. => This is where you need to run a personal assessment to determine what you will tolerate. Sometimes, the shit-test will occur because you’ve shown weaknesses or what she believes are weaknesses, and those were legitimate reactions on her part; otherwise, you are dealing with a person who is manipulating you out of a sunk loss fallacy.

Considering you have already invested money, energy, attention, and time in the relationship, cutting away your emotional investment midway through can be taxing.

“Why am I spending time with someone who gains an emotional benefit by you being fine with cutting her out in an instant?”

This is something you need to remind yourself of whenever confronted with her challenges.

Why would you accept living with someone with such traits when you left out former friends who didn’t vibe with you?

Not discounting the fact that your authority is being undermined by her friends’ group and society telling her she is right, whatever she feels at the moment, the more she is susceptible to this, the more BS you will deal with, so choose appropriately.

Therefore, you must remember there is a higher burden of proof that she is worth your time and investment, rather than rationalising how to make the most of what you have already invested.

In dating, people fuck up because loss aversion makes them self-sabotage out of the self-created investment they have made into someone else.

In a relationship, it is even more palpable because the investments are not just emotional, but also tangible.

In case you are family-oriented, you will feel the juice is worth the squeeze, but if she feels that the idealisation of the family unit is your primary driver, she will weaponise it against you to gain control when she is of bad faith. This can also be a default mechanism for women, often out of insecurity or because they do not feel safe with you, if they are of good faith. This is why a lot of Christian men find themselves henpecked, as the imagery of what they feel is their life fulfilment will be used against them. So, to manage risks:

Ensure that her “female nature” is shaped by her close environment, family background, and education.

Regardless, getting into a relationship with a woman is more challenging; just make sure you get what you seek out of life from it, just don’t make it your priority. This is the price to pay, and you need to give the least to get the most, no matter how counterintuitive it may seem. As her frustration towards you, up to a certain point, will be the thing that keeps her in line, she will appreciate it as a strength. Your problem fixing will be perceived as you being her bitch. It is retarded, but should you wish to stay with her, you will have to appreciate where she is coming from. Similarly, she would rather you listen to her day rather than finding solutions to the problems she mentions.

As a final note, seeking to appease her is going to be a short-term relief before the bullshit starts again, until it gets to the point that it is not sustainable, on your part or hers. Her emotions are transient, so if you don’t keep yourself grounded, you will be swept up in the storm. Focus on yourself, whether you are in a relationship or not. This will be beneficial for your relationship, you and your family.