This was initially written by LiveAFTSOV on a Red Pill Forum many years ago. I rewrote it and added where your replies must be coming from, so that you are not a performative dancing monkey, but a man operating within their frame. This is the difference between Frame Control and Genuine Frame.

THE DEER MODEL

DEER stands for Defend, Explain, Excuse and Rationalise

DEFEND => People defend when they are unsure of themselves and don’t believe in themselves. You are not that immovable mountain.

Defending oneself validates the accusation. Women realise they have gained power over you. Alpha to Beta dynamic starts within the relationship.

More shit-tests to come.

EXPLAIN => “Humans need to be understood. Many men have made the mistake of continuously giving a woman one more piece of information, so they’d just ‘get it.’

“This is because when it’s a man-to-man conversation, explaining normally works”.

“Then we go and try to explain ourselves to women, forgetting that they don’t communicate through reasoning, and we don’t explain ourselves to our subordinates. You put her into a position to judge you”.

“Initially, people think aloud in a concealed attempt to convince themselves that their decision was the correct one - hoping that by explaining themselves to someone else, they can get reinforcement of their choices through another’s approval.”

“You don’t have to justify a reason for every action you take. Let others make their assumptions. Your actions will speak for themselves.”

Would you bother explaining yourself to a troll online or a kid? No, because you don’t give them importance. She is of no importance to you as an insightful leader.

If you do, you put her in a role of authority. Trust me, you don’t want that.

When you explain yourself, you disclose to her that you are desperate for her to understand where you are coming from, because you want her to like you.

It is your applied risk management, because you cannot afford the fact that she does not.

You may not realise it, but you are doing this, and you are transparent to her about the level of interest you have in her, which she will use to her benefit.

EXCUSE => “We make excuses when we want someone or something else to be responsible, rather than claiming that responsibility for ourselves.”

But even when we take ownership of our mistakes, acknowledging them shows we are rubbish leaders they can’t follow. In their little head, you can never make a mistake.

The burden of decision-making is on you. And it must always be the right one, no matter how wrong you may be. Discussing strategy and ex post failures with an underling is giving them importance they don’t have.

=> “You surrender power and give her the opportunity to accept or reject your excuse.”

“Give excuses to anyone enough times, and they start to figure out your word means jack shit - that you are not reliable, untrustworthy, and ultimately full of shit.”

“You repulse the woman by putting her in a position of power over you - you also frustrate her with your inability to accept responsibility and lead.”

She will lose respect for you.

RATIONALISE => “A person rationalizes AFTER the fact. A decision or choice is made, and then the rationalizing happens afterwards.

This is because of a human need for consistency - we need to have things align in our lives, so if we’ve made a bad decision based on an emotional state of mind, we will rationalize why it was the right decision afterwards, to remain congruent and consistent with our beliefs.”

She will see it as an active cope for dealing with a bad decision.

You end up becoming a bitch in a woman’s eye.

THE DARE MODEL

DEFLECT => When she throws you a shit-test => Deflect or pressure flip => Reverse shit-test

If you engage in the ‘shit-test,’ you fall into her frame.

=> You dodge or catch the pebble she throws at you, and you throw it back at her.

=> You show your social superiority => Power Dynamic => whilst keeping it light and not explicitly confrontational with the frame of it being you above her.

AMUSEDLY AGREE AND ABSURDLY AMPLIFY => She is a joke, and what she says is a joke; it also reinforces your frame of being, Daddy, to the silly little child.

=> It turns her negativity into positivity whilst making her look stupid and showing you cannot be hurt by what she says because you own it and at the same time discard it.

=> She has no power to hurt you. It shows you don’t care what she thinks of you, and increases your social standing as your frame is strong enough for you to invite her to fall within it.

“Make stupid statements, you will get stupid replies” => you don’t entertain her bullshit.

REPEAT => E.g. “When are we going out again?” => “You will know when I am ready”

“What? Just tell me” => “I will when it is time”

=> This is to avoid the Explaining part of the DEER model. Explaining gives validity to her bullshit. A leader does not explain to his subordinates the choices he makes; he expects them to follow him regardless.

=> Again. You establish yourself as You above her.

=> By not caving in and explaining that nag of hers, you give her another shot at surrendering to you.

CAVEAT => If she continues to do that repeatedly, ask yourself if she even sees you as a leader versus the uncertainty (whether towards herself or you).

Shit-tests are not universally good; it is all about context and the degree to which they are trying to test you. Some shit-tests are not essentially shit-tests (=looking for you to lose/negative framing) ; they are flirting teases (=looking for you to win/positive framing), which many guys will include as shit-test, as the expression has lost its essence.

EXIT => You continue what you are doing, effectively ignoring her after she gives you some Womanese or does some annoying bullshit.

You can leave physically or mentally (=silence).

=> Cater to your peace of mind. You have abundance.

=> Keeps the power within you => the power to walk away. You are deciding whether to enter or exit the BS. You determine the Rules of Engagement. You decide what is worth conversing with or not, and who is worth chatting with.

=> It is about freedom in the end, whether it is women or anyone else.

CONCLUSION:

=> They are immature children who just wanna have fun.

You can’t win an argument on its merit with a child.

=> CHANGE HER MOOD NOT HER MIND

“Women do NOT look to you for explanations - like they are your leader”.

Women do not look to you for reasoning - as if you are their partner.

Women DO look to you for feelings, guidance, and leadership - like they are your followers.

“Care for your woman, and you will find she behaves similarly to a bubbly child - excited for fun and adventure.”

=> “In a healthy sexual relationship, the submissive feminine woman is subordinate to a competent, masculine male.”

On this last bit, your level of masculinity is defined by her level of baseline attraction to you; her interest will remain if you truly remain self-centred, because if you operate this only from a circumstantial and artificial level, she will realise you were just a con artist, and she will bail.

And if she shit-tests you to begin with, it is just her saying she has doubts about your level of masculinity/attraction, thus shit-tests are just her asking you to prove to her that you have what it takes, though she makes herself the judge of you (=bad, even if you pass the test). When she is genuinely attracted to you, she does not shit-test you, because there is no doubt.

So, before you are excited about addressing them, thinking it is a good sign, remember that the medium is the message. The fact that she has to use them is to test your “masculinity”, but you don’t test something you are not sure of.

Suppose you define your level of masculinity through her lens. In that case, you fall into the female approval dancing monkey frame, when it has more to do with her attraction level to you than your masculinity, which is assumed as a second-order effect from her attraction to you.

It is essential to remember the above before operating the framework, because tools without their inherent essence will eventually make you become the essence of a tool.

Making her the compass of your masculinity is the root of all evil. This is what is lost on the Red Pill.

If remembering all of this sounds too much like hard work and not worth your time, I’ve integrated the above framework into my chatbot, which does the seducing without you having to lift a finger. It also controls the Frame based on previously successful interaction. If you’d like to try it for free, click on this link.

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