It is often joked among guys about their girlfriends or wives hitting them or giving them rubbish because they misbehaved in the woman's dreams.

It makes no sense to us men. However, there is validity behind what we would call an overreaction on her part.

Dreams reveal us in the most naked way, taking away any suppression or repression efforts to manage our daily lives, either due to morals, beliefs, or shame.

It is customary for guys to dream of exes they still have feelings for even though they have consciously convinced themselves they are over it.

Another example is when a shameful event from our past that we have not purposely thought of is unearthed and turned into a nightmare when it is not a fear.

The subconscious defines the idea, but the conscious defines what we think is reality. However, people will give more meaning to other people's communication through their body language or tonality (90% of communication) than through words. It is instinctive, yet most people are not conscious of the meaning but can get an idea if someone is confident in themselves from what is coming out of them. When no Freudian Slips betray your interlocutor's mind, words are a product of your consciousness and represent 10% of what people remember. Even in our appreciation, we give more meaning to the subconscious signals we give.

Another occurrence is when someone gets caught between mixed signals from someone they are invested in. They are being sold on an individual who managed to make an original good impression on them through their aura, looks, or general vibe. The further they are convinced of that original impression, the more they develop an ego investment in that belief as it puts into question their discernment and identity from their current or past association with that individual. Yet, when the person's subsequent behaviour contrasts with their original idea of them, they will stay stuck on their original idea of them.

It is often illustrated when either a girl or guy is love-bombed, leading the other person to build a positive image of himself through the positive reinforcements of the perpetrator, creating a validation loop that, when the switch occurs, excuses for disrespect, rationalisation of cheating or other misbehaviour, leads the original love bombed person to stay in what became a negative feedback loop because they have become emotionally co-dependent to the person who baited and switched them.

Here, the reality of the actions is brushed off to safeguard the original idea built in that person's head. This is why first impressions are so hard to get rid of. The ambiguity of some situations will tend to favour giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.

Another difference is that in a couple, the person who cheated is asked by their partner one question, which will differ depending on the gender, but which are the same in essence.

Men will ask: "Did you orgasm?"

Women will ask: "Did you love her?"

Although technically different, they are actually the same question. Men will focus on the more tangible conscious factor, whereas Women will focus on the more intangible one, which is harder to quantify or even verify.

They are the same because a woman's ability to orgasm is emotionally based on how much the guy has a hold on her psyche; they only look at the downstream results (no pun intended). This is the difference between emotional cheating and physical cheating, but it is the same in a woman's mind. As Men have more of a mechanical mind when it comes to their orgasmic aspect, they project that setup onto that of a woman when they don't need to feel anything to bust a nut.

This is why when a woman can detach feelings to orgasms, she has fully reached their masculine metamorphosis by fully owning their sexuality like a DIY Bobbie the Squirter. It is the hallmark of the detachment between the conscious and the unconscious, which previously ruled the reaching of the yin and yang between masculine and feminine energy blossoming in the fluids ejection.

Yet, despite these efforts to separate the both, whether it is for women or men, the gap left in the emotionality behind the sexual act is even more present. This also explains the current trend that the mutual denial in opening to our respective vulnerabilities holds a much more meaningful price than the physical act when it is being breached. When someone enters our psyche, it leaves an indelible mark for both men and women; it is when our subconscious has been addressed. Both men and women will never forget the people who they felt truly understood them. Whether it was the case or not does not matter; it is their feeling of it happening.

This is illustrated by a tiny amount of people who they will remember till their dying days, no matter the outcome of whether or not these people stay in their lives, and often, they will hold a more meaningful place than their current one. In other words, the wife or husband they are currently married to out of convenience or pragmatism will have as little relevance to their lives as their office desk. It is present as an everyday item, but no genuine care is attached to it except the occasional pussy or dick dusting off. On the other hand, that lost love that did not last the course and who they felt deeply attached to thanks to that incompressible bond will remain consciously or not in their mind with a much deeper anchor that they will often repress or suppress out of optics purpose.

It also happens in limerence, where the idea of a former partner trumps the negatives by subconsciously segmenting the positives to better cope with the reality that you are not with them anymore, even when apparent mistreatment and disrespect were present in the relationship. This is where the idea of the person is stronger than the reality of their actions.

In seduction, what eventually will be your best friend is how much you can trigger their imagination of you, where one will build up the idea of you and invest further and deeper, irrespective of your actual reality. It is all about how you picture a reality with what you suspect will resonate with them. Whether it is about you or your lifestyle, this is why the concept of niche and archetype and/or whether you are their “type” has such a decisive pulling factor; it is built upon the preconceived idea of what they built inside their head of what you would likely represent before getting to know you.

I recently caught up with a friend who had broken up with a long-term girlfriend. He told me for the first time about a girl he had not spoken to for 10+ years (also the amount of time I have known him) that he reached out to. He and that girl lost touch when he left the country until he recently decided to rekindle contact. When I asked him why he had not told me about her, he said that nothing had happened with her, but he added that it was a girl that he naturally got on with, unlike any girls in the past, but for different reasons. Nothing happened, and the feeling was mutual back then. They are not living in the same country, and she has been with her boyfriend for around a decade. From the moment they started chatting, it was as if they had never stopped during that hiatus.

The guy she is with is doing very well for himself. In the meantime, they had been chatting for a couple of months, and he showed me some of their exchanges. She confessed to him about how she dreamed about him many times, recalling very explicit scenes. She is, in effect, emotionally cheating with "just a friend", and although I don't have a crystal ball, I can see this quickly escalate in a break-up on her part, as she is currently feeling and realising that the meaning of her relationship makes little to no sense anymore.

This is why emotional cheating carries such a significant weight in the psyche of a woman and should also be in that of men. Before a woman decides to cheat, she prepares herself mentally either with the help of the future guy she is going to cheat with or by mentally checking out of the relationship through subtle or less subtle disrespecting. Guys can be blindsided, not seeing the signs before the event. Women will use what they love to communicate the most, which is plausible deniability, giving them an out against accountability in setting themselves up properly to perform the deed. “He is just a friend”. “Are you insecure? I am just having a girls’ night out”. The physical cheating is just the logical outcome.

Women will listen to their dreams as a compass as to where they stand and where they should be going, the same way they are drawn to the underlying esoterism behind astrology and numerology. This may sound ludicrous to us guys who are empirically focused. Still, it is this female inkling which enables them to move on much earlier in their relationships because they are more in tune with their subconscious as an early sign to puke out consciously their partner through the process of checking out before giving them the chop, leaving the man in a place where he has not adequately digested his feelings that he did not want to acknowledge for him to eventually seek closure until he realises that it is a work he has to do himself.

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