You will have to carry the conversation and bring value whenever approaching. You are the one who must create emotions in your counterpart.

Don't just stand there after you open. Remember that you will have to speak more or less 80% at the beginning until the person is hooked, and you will hit momentum within a minute or so.

You must understand that even the best openers will fall flat if you can't follow up.

It is better to have a bang-average opener but be able to improvise so you don't kill the flow of the conversation. I have said some of the most random stuff, whatever went through my mind, and I still managed to have a great interaction.

It is about trusting yourself to be interesting. It is not about what you say but how you say it. You can even tell the stupidest things as long as you say them confidently; this is what matters. Don't try to be logical; it is about transferring the energy to another person.

People are bored with their everyday journey through life, like Groundhog Day. If you are fun to talk to, energetic and relevant, you will bring value to their day. So don't worry if you are going to bother them. Some would prefer staying in their misery, so don't let their negative energy contaminate yours.

Imagine yourself delivering monetary value to an individual through time spent and positive energy given. If that person is not buying, you target the wrong audience or don't believe you have a giving-away value vibe.

Remember, attention spans are fleeting. We are in the TikTok generation. Cut out the fluff in your conversations and bring the value quickly. What is value? It is a great vibe. I usually use cold reads.

Another thing I have noticed is that when I am dressed a bit smarter—jacket, Chelsea boots, well-cut chinos—the work is easier for me than when I am on a walk with my trackies, lol.

This weekend, I saw these three women on my way to meet a friend who was getting out on the terrace of a bar in Soho (London). Within 5 minutes, I knew the names of all 3 and closed the number of the woman (late 20s, best guess) who would eventually go to the private club I was going to. I learned later that she used to be a model.

"You look like you are a member of [name of the private club". (Assuming value on her end and associating myself with the selected few).

"Yes"

"I could tell you take care of your appearance and are warm despite being what looks like a good achiever." (Compliment on her appearance, and assuming a positive vibe from her, which she confirmed - she was wearing designer boots)

"Yes, I am a member of it, are you?" [She is qualifying for value]

"Yes" (I am not)

"Oh really, you don't sound British; where are you from?"

"Parisian"

"Oh, I don't like Parisians; my sister is married to one."

"I am sure she used not to like him at first; we are an acquired taste, you see". (Not being defensive, timeline and value reframing)

"But are you living in London?"

"10+ years, so are you heading to [name of the private club] just now? Actually, my manners are so bad, blame it on Paris, my name is X, what is your name?" (I then asked the name of her friends after she gave hers)

"What do you do in life?"

"I am an artist; I picture the best in people, and I frame it in pictures using words".

She looks a bit confused.

"I am a writer."

"A writer? You mean a blogger."

"Writer is to French, what Wanker is to Intellectual; it goes together."

"What are you writing about?

"Love, Romance, and maybe something about us should we meet again; having said that, I have to go and meet my friend now. Unfortunately, I don't have a pen to write down the moment we met, so I will take your number and text you later to check if you are around." (using Narrative).

I handed her my phone, and she called herself.

"Who is XYZ?" (my female friend texted me when she took my phone and saw the notification)

"How do you know her?"

"She just texted you."

"Ahh, she is just a friend; where are you heading now?"

"We are going for drinks somewhere else, but maybe we will see you there later."

"Let's see."

And I went to join my friend.

Here, I did not do much. She was intrigued by my persona and wanted to qualify me. I indulged nonchalantly but not completely. We even held hands in a thumb-war-like manner during the exchange. The attraction was there, so I did not deal with many objections. The shit tests were soft and bantery-like.

I assumed familiarity and value while representing it at the same time. She is part of the club I am going to and would associate with what I displayed.

She mostly handled the logistics and personal qualifications; I will not complain. She was interested, and I confirmed my value while leaving some room for mystery. I eventually number-closed her; otherwise, the way it was going, she would have asked me for my Zip Code and Publisher.

The Gods also helped me with pre-selection evidence from the female friend who texted me when the girl put her number on my phone.

But really, I did not have a framework I followed to a T; I was just comfortable in my communication and demeanour.

All in all, bringing value to the conversation is about the vibe you give. She felt acknowledged without being pandered to, and I used situational awareness and Narrative to allow a potential meet-up later on. There was no need to make push-away comments to manufacture a selection frame from me, as the attraction was already there, and it would have been an overkill.

This is what happens when you can be magnetic or have Charisma. If you want to learn more, you can check the ebook on my website:

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