People assume other people are one-dimensional, as first impressions are heuristics for categorisation.

The box people put you in, or you put other people in, is actually the PERSONA. They associate with the closest ARCHETYPE attached to it.

The concept of PERSONA works alongside the concepts of ARCHETYPES / NICHES and my other post on how WOMEN ARE ON THE SPECTRUM, and on WHAT IS FRAME?

PERSONAS are underneath the surface, whereas ARCHETYPES and NICHES are on the surface.

When you display a specific type, people will associate the PERSONA with the ARCHETYPE being communicated, which is most closely related to it.

But when it comes to people, they don't only have ONE PERSONA.

People have a multitude of facets. They are generally protected by a barrier that they use as a self-protection mechanism. It is when you break that barrier that trust is built. Whoever broke the trust barrier asserted his FRAME.

It can be done through different processes. This is not supposed to be exhaustive:

=> Actively Empathetic => Where you lead with a personal experience that can vary from your sensitiveness, so that the person can mirror with her sharing hers, building that trust component.

=> Apparent Avoidance => Where you show that you care very little about the other person's approval, and the appearance of not showing any agenda leads the other person who wants to open up to you, so that you mirror yourself as they feel safe to develop a bond with you.

=> Masculine Stoicism=> When you display these characteristics, it leads women to become softer as she shows she can trust you to be more vulnerable and not put that front as much because of your calmness. But it will also get her panties to drop and show even more submissiveness on her part.

=> Funny => Being funny and not taking anything seriously shows a general carelessness about things in life and leads the person to feel safe and under no judgmental frame from you; they can feel free to share more.

=> Conflict => By disagreeing with someone, they will respect you more and see you as trustworthy because you are willing to stand your ground; this is why women will get turned on when you tell them off. You are willing to risk her approval because what you believe in precedes her presence. Or when you challenge your direct reports (not all of them), they will trust you more.

Some people will respond differently to the above; some will be more responsive to the Avoidant side, some to the Empathetic side, etc...

Once you break this barrier, you will see the other side of the person, and this is where the bonding process starts because she reveals herself => she falls within your FRAME.

But most people stay stuck on the surface.

Yes, you can bond with a Trauma victim. Her barriers will be high, and you will have to go to a deeper end than you would with most people.

You can bond with a certified hoe once you understand her triggers. But again, you will have to go to places you most likely don't want to.

Even the most ridiculously unreachable people have their weaknesses. Once you realise that the front they put is just the illusion they have portrayed that you bought into (you already bought into their FRAME), without them saying or doing anything:

=> The Star Athlete

=> The 9 you saw in LA

=> The Rich CEO

Guess what? They are all humans. However, through status, they display that aura, charisma, and presence, which is such a magnet to others but also repellent to the individual, as they know the people who approach them have something on the back of their minds.

Once you gain their trust through one of the above mechanisms, you will see that the mental images you made yourself of them change, and you will realise they are just images. In that Pandora's box you have just opened, you will see that their PERSONAS are varied and dependent on their mood.

This is the same reason you will be repelling on your down days, and with an uplifted mood, you will be attractive on your good days. You are not the emotion that is running your day.

Like WOMEN ON THE SPECTRUM, who display a main PERSONA at a particular stage of their life as per the main AGENDA they have in mind in the medium to long term, in the short term, it can be overcome by triggering the right response to the internal triggers of another PERSONA than the one which she displays at this point in time.

She may not be that party girl anymore, but give her a few Tequila shots and see whatever was originally on her agenda, despite her newfound redemptive ways, will be thrown out the window.

That girl who gives you shit tests after shit tests and is masculine as Fuck. When you pass them by, subtly overpowering her, you realise that she is the soft little submissive girl in bed who wants a good spanking for misbehaving with Daddy.

The PERSONA you communicate is the second-level order and is on the psychological sphere after she bought into the ARCHETYPE you display, with which she will resonate. This is what we mean by congruence, and what they feel they can let themselves go.

ARCHETYPE + PERSONA = FRAME (further details on What Is Frame Article)

When it comes to Girls:

People are confused about entering deep-level conversations and resonating with them. This will most likely dry her pants because she will become conscious of it at the moment. And you will unconsciously come across to her as someone who tries to force the connection through overt communication.

When she lets go with you, it must feel natural and unconscious. The moment her spidey sense gets triggered, this is when the shit-test happens, or she puts you in the friendzone; the comfort you show overwhelms the attraction in the balance of the interaction.

When you move beyond the surface level, which is just the carapace behind her true self, you realise that the reason that she did not sleep with you on the first date (provided your logistics were sorted or her agenda was confirmed with existing buffers) is more to do with YOU. You did not have the "vibe" or "chemistry".

But sometimes, they will make sure to screw their own chances to make the date work.

Girls, knowing full well what can happen on a date, will create buffers such as meeting halfway or not drinking alcohol on dates that are not dinner dates. In the past, when they did not put this in place, they could not control their emotions as the environment they set themselves under (hey, they want you to set up the date) had tricked them. And they don't want to fall for the trap again.

They are all indicators of having been previously clapped out and thrown out.

Why do you think 30+ women are such a ballache to deal with? Because they have seen all the tricks under the sun and could not secure what they wanted, they now want to TAKE BACK CONTROL, making them even more unbearable. They will be combative about the logistics or what they will allow themselves to be invited to, even though they expect you to invite them.

Due to the passage of time (WOMEN ARE ON SPECTRUM), her short-term AGENDA puts her in a different PERSONA. You can break through with further engagement prior to the date. So, even more hard work.

That is why even when they fancy your ARCHETYPE, it is not enough; your PERSONA will be the vector for you to go above and beyond a level of trust with an "experienced" woman.

Practical advice when it comes to dating:

=> Display the primary PERSONA you have gauged, which will resonate the most with her. She will see that as incongruent if you switch between different ones (Caveman, Fun Guy, Chill Guy...) during that same date.

It is also important to underline that this is not you being someone you are not; it is part of you, but it is just not your main PERSONA at this point in time.

Like the ex-fun girl who is now the "I take things slow" girl.

Personality is the aggregation of your PERSONAS, which come and go through a revolving door within your day. It is not a single fixed unit; it is a fluid loop. It may even seem contradictory when you look at the extremes of PERSONAS within you, but it is actually you. You have just not attended to it as much, if at all.

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