In the self-improvement space, we have heard repeatedly about the abundance mindset—the idea of seeing life's limitless potential.

As men, we often fall under the trap of scarcity, as anything is rarely handed to us. And when it is the case, we are usually wary of where and how we are going to get screwed.

Conversely, women will benefit in their younger years from opportunities most men will only reach later in life. If they are on the hotter side of the bell curve, they will even have been exposed to what most men will never experience.

This creates a distorted worldview based on current feedback loops.

Men are usually hesitant to project positive opportunities within their reach, so they project a future with little to offer.

Whereas women expect the future to be like the positive past or present

As the marketplace establishes women's primary value through their youth, beauty and fertility, women project their future based on their past or present, misaligning the reality of father time with the underlying depreciation of their value occurring with it.

Whereas men are not valued using the same metrics, the passage of time is a much lower factor in their value than that of women. More relevance is given to their adoption of an abundance mindset.

Suppose a woman solely focuses on career or business opportunities and disregards relationships altogether. In that case, there are no drawbacks to adopting that mindset as long as she does not decide to change gears later down the line.

If she isn't focused on her professional life, she will think she will have many more opportunities than she actually has. She will undervalue and disregard what tangible things she has, believing the momentum will continue, like a gambler on a hot streak.

The reality is that they are less secure providers than they deem to be the case and, most likely, will have to settle as they get older, as their pool of opportunities shrinks.

They may not know that yet, but the hope of egg freezing and the relentless feedback loop of validation where they confuse guys who want to hit and quit as potential commitment types, aka fun Chads. This will drive their egos wild, making them even less girlfriend or wife material, notwithstanding their lack of realisation of their situation until it is too late.

Social media plays to that narrative. The abundance of DMs they receive, when not likes, makes men look like a commodity.

Some may get lucky, but for the most part, they will be left with unsatisfactory situations as they have tasted the finer things in life from which they won't benefit unless it is at their own costs.

Men, on the other hand, by not limiting themselves from the prospect of our current situations and having bigger goals, we know that time plays in our favour.

Unlike women, men are not born; they are made. Our choices will define our future outcomes on a much larger scale, as our influence is much broader than that of women. Men handle mistakes better than women because they are used to dealing with losses.

It all starts with self-belief, a vision and implementing your action plan.

The trap is to get drunk off the image of where you will be without taking action.

Time is eventually a slow killer of dreams. Your first attempts are likely to fail, and you will have to learn from your mistakes to better adapt to the next ventures you take on.

But once you have reached the threshold you initially were aiming for, you will have the right to benefit from the labour of your hard work. At the very least, from a personal satisfaction perspective.

It is not because you have not benefited from the finest things in life that you don't deserve it.

This is one of the biggest limiting beliefs men have.

The initial positive feedback loop is a trap for women. Not only can they display the supposed success that was granted thanks to the benefit of value from the sole act of being, but they can also display the supposed success that was granted rather than actually gained.

This will eventually disgust their future potential mates they hope will engage with them. The bottom of the barrel is the men who will accept the undesirable aspect of getting the crumbs and who will be there waiting out of the lack of better options, whom they don't want.

They are left with the dilemma of either accepting less or manifesting for the past options they have fumbled in the hopes of better suitors.

Whether it is on a man or woman front, this dynamic won't change thanks to the reinforcing nature of the social media echo chambers. People eventually get cooked from the dopamine hits and superficial positive reinforcements.

But if you are reading this, know that you have more agency than you think, and over the long run, you are in a more favourable position than women.

Why?

This is not only because you fill the attraction buckets where you are lacking but, more importantly, because what is earned is more enjoyable than what was granted to you as a head start.

When you don't have to sell your soul to the devil to maximise the full opportunity your physical assets grant you, you can win with your dignity remaining intact.

This is where an abundance mindset is a double win. Once you know how to appreciate it, it is a gift for you and a curse for the other party you seek to gain positive outcomes with.

Once you reach your goal, you will be part of the scarce resource women seek, giving you all the leverage you need to call the shots.

However, you cannot be an absolutist regarding the abundance mindset in relationships, whether a man or a woman. Always relativising the value of one in the sea of options will lead to taking the other person for granted, thinking you can replace them quickly. Even though that may be true, it works against the individual's cherishing and working on what they have with that other person. Nevertheless, this can be useful when there are clear signs of irreconcilable differences in helping one make the tricky move of clearing away from a strong attachment built over the years.

There is a limit to what people can emotionally sustain over a lifetime, and too many break-ups eventually numb a person to the point that family-making and developing deep bonds are seen as a chimaera under this resulting nihilistic mindset. This can be the flipside of such a mentality.

You are not as limited as you think you are. However, you may be better served where you currently are than you may tell yourself through the idealisation of the unknown.